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Showing Love to Your Kids with the 5 Love Languages

It’s heartbreaking to see our children struggle with friendships. Helping your child navigate friendship troubles, we want to shield them from hurt, but we also know that these experiences are crucial for their growth. 

Connecting with your child is the cornerstone of a strong parent-child relationship. It involves creating a safe and open space where they feel heard, understood, and valued. By actively listening to their thoughts and feelings, offering unconditional love and support, and showing genuine interest in their lives, you foster a bond of trust and mutual respect. Sharing quality time through activities they enjoy, engaging in meaningful conversations, and teaching them essential life skills also strengthens your connection. Remember, it’s not about quantity but quality time, and consistent effort in building this bond will reap rewards for both you and your child.

Here are some strategies to encourage your child to come to you when they’re facing friend troubles:

Build a Strong Foundation of Trust

  • Be an active listener: Show genuine interest in your child’s life, their friends, and their experiences.
  • Validate their feelings: Let them know their emotions are valid and understood.
  • Be consistent: Keep your promises and follow through on what you say.
  • Create a safe space: Let your child know they can come to you without fear of judgment or punishment.

Teach Essential Life Skills

  • Empathy: Help your child understand and share the feelings of others.
  • Problem-solving: Equip them with tools to think critically about situations.
  • Communication: Teach effective ways to express thoughts and feelings.
  • Conflict resolution: Guide them on how to handle disagreements peacefully.

Model Healthy Relationships

  • Demonstrate effective communication: Show your child how to have open and honest conversations with others.
  • Resolve conflicts peacefully: Let them see how you handle disagreements with your partner or friends.
  • Prioritize relationships: Show the importance of maintaining strong bonds.

Create Opportunities for Sharing

  • Family dinners: Make mealtime a time for conversation and connection.
  • One-on-one time: Schedule regular activities with your child.
  • Car rides: Use this time for open-ended conversations.
  • Bedtime routines: Create a calming atmosphere for sharing thoughts and feelings.

Encourage Openness

  • Use open-ended questions: Ask questions that encourage detailed responses.
  • Avoid judgment: Listen without interrupting or criticizing.
  • Offer support and guidance: Help them brainstorm solutions without taking over.
  • Celebrate their successes: Acknowledge their efforts in resolving conflicts.

Books with helpful information on connecting with your child

  • “How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk” by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish: This classic book provides guidance on effective communication with children.
  • “The Whole-Brain Child” by Daniel J. Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson: Offers insights into child development and how to connect with your child based on brain science.
  • “No-Drama Discipline” by Daniel J. Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson: Provides strategies for connecting with your child while setting limits and teaching responsibility.

Remember, building a trusting relationship with your child takes time. Be patient, consistent, and supportive. By creating a safe and open environment, you can empower your child to navigate the complexities of friendship with confidence and resilience.

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How to cope with being estranged from your child:

Being estranged from a child is one of the most painful experiences a parent can go through. It is a complex and challenging situation, and there is no one-size-fits-all solution for how to cope. However, there are some things that parents can do to help themselves heal and move forward.

1. Allow yourself to grieve

It is important to acknowledge the pain and loss that you are feeling. Allow yourself to grieve the relationship that you have lost with your child. This may involve crying, talking to a trusted friend or family member, or seeking professional help.

2. Understand that you are not alone

Many parents go through the experience of being estranged from a child. There are support groups and online communities available to connect with other parents who are facing the same challenges.

3. Forgive yourself and your child

Holding on to anger and resentment will only make it harder to heal. Try to forgive yourself and your child for any mistakes that may have been made. This does not mean that you have to condone your child’s behavior, but it does mean letting go of the negative emotions that are holding you back.

4. Focus on yourself

It is important to take care of yourself during this difficult time. Make sure to eat healthy, get enough sleep, and exercise regularly. Do things that you enjoy and that make you feel good about yourself.

5. Seek professional help

If you are struggling to cope with the estrangement, consider seeking professional help from a therapist or counselor. They can provide support and guidance as you navigate this challenging experience.

Here are some additional tips for coping with being estranged from a child:

  • Don’t take it personally. It is important to remember that your child’s estrangement is not necessarily a reflection of you or your parenting skills. There are many factors that can contribute to estrangement, including mental illness, addiction, and abuse.
  • Respect your child’s decision. Even if you don’t understand or agree with your child’s decision to cut you off, it is important to respect their boundaries. Trying to force a relationship will only make things worse.
  • Leave the door open. Let your child know that you love them and that you are there for them if they ever want to reconnect. However, don’t pressure them.
  • Focus on the positive. It can be helpful to focus on the other aspects of your life that bring you joy. This may include your spouse, partner, other children, friends, hobbies, and interests.

Resources

  • The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI): NAMI provides support and resources for people with mental illness and their families. They have a specific page on their website dedicated to the topic of estrangement.  https://www.nami.org/Home
  • The American Psychological Association (APA): The APA has a variety of resources on their website, including articles, videos, and podcasts on the topic of estrangement. https://www.apa.org/
  • The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: If you are feeling suicidal, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.
  • The Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741 to reach a crisis counselor 24/7.
  • The Trevor Project: The Trevor Project provides support and resources for LGBTQ youth. They have a specific page on their website dedicated to the topic of estrangement.  https://www.thetrevorproject.org/

If you are a parent who is estranged from your child, know that you are not alone. There are people and resources available to help you cope with this difficult experience.

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17

Ways to help when a loved one loses a pet and resources

Posted by Collaborative Counseling
Ways to help when a loved one loses a pet and resources

Losing a pet is a difficult experience for anyone to go through. Pets are beloved members of our families, and their loss can be devastating. If you know someone who has recently lost a pet, there are a number of things you can do to help them through this difficult time.

Here are some ways to help when a loved one loses a pet:

  • Be there for them. Let them know that you are there for them and that you care. Listen to them when they need to talk, and offer your support and comfort.
  • Help with practical tasks. Offer to help with practical tasks such as walking their other pets, cooking meals, or running errands. This can take some of the burden off of them during this difficult time.
  • Share your memories. Talk to them about the pet that they lost. Share your own memories of the pet, and let them know how much they meant to you. This can help them to feel better and to know that their pet was loved by many.
  • Suggest grief support resources. There are a number of grief support resources available for people who have lost a pet. You can suggest that they talk to their veterinarian, a pet loss counselor, or join a pet loss support group.

Here are some additional tips for helping someone who has lost a pet:

  • Don’t try to minimize their grief. It is important to let them grieve in their own way and in their own time. Don’t say things like “it was just a pet” or “you’ll get over it.”
  • Don’t rush them to get another pet. It is important to let them decide when they are ready to get another pet, if at all.
  • Respect their wishes. If they don’t want to talk about their pet, don’t force them. If they want to talk about their pet all the time, be there to listen.

Resources for coping with the loss of a pet:

  • The Association for Pet Loss and Bereavement (APLB): The APLB is a non-profit organization that provides support and resources for people who have lost a pet. They offer a variety of resources, including a website, a hotline, and support groups. https://www.aplb.org/
  • Pet Partners: Pet Partners is a non-profit organization that provides animal-assisted therapy services. They offer a variety of resources for people who have lost a pet, including grief support groups and online support resources. https://petpartners.org/
  • Lap of Love: Lap of Love is a non-profit organization that provides in-home euthanasia services. They also offer a variety of resources for people who are coping with the loss of a pet, including grief support groups and online support resources. https://www.lapoflove.com/
  • Rainbow Bridge: Rainbow Bridge is a poem about the afterlife for pets. It is a popular source of comfort for people who have lost a pet.  https://www.rainbowsbridge.com/

If you know someone who has lost a pet, please offer them your support and comfort. It is a difficult time for them, and they need to know that they are not alone.

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Counseling Online, In-Person or Hybrid

Posted by Collaborative Counseling
How to Know When You Need Therapy or Counseling?

When considering starting therapy, it can be helpful to consider counseling online, in-person or hybrid. All formats have their pros and cons which will be discussed today.

Online Therapy

Online therapy offers undeniable convenience and flexibility. It eliminates the need for commuting, making it ideal for busy individuals or those living in remote areas. Additionally, online therapy can be more cost-effective due to reduced overhead costs for therapists. However, it can be challenging to establish a strong therapeutic rapport through a screen, as nonverbal cues and the overall atmosphere of a physical therapy setting are absent. Some individuals may also find it more difficult to focus and engage in therapy sessions in their own homes, where distractions are more prevalent.

  • Advantages:
    • Convenience: Eliminates geographical barriers and scheduling constraints.
    • Accessibility: Expands access to mental health services, particularly in underserved areas.
    • Comfort: Offers a private and familiar setting for clients.
    • Flexibility: Allows for flexible scheduling options.
  • Disadvantages:
    • Limited Nonverbal Cues: May hinder the therapist’s ability to fully assess and respond to nonverbal communication.
    • Technological Barriers: Reliance on technology can introduce potential technical difficulties.
    • Reduced Personal Connection: May limit the development of a strong therapeutic alliance.
    • Distractions: Home environments can be more prone to distractions, potentially impacting the therapeutic process.

In-Person Therapy

In-person therapy, on the other hand, provides a more traditional and personal experience. The physical presence of a therapist can foster a deeper connection, allowing for a more nuanced understanding of body language and emotional nuances. The structured setting of a therapist’s office can also create a safe and confidential space for open communication. However, in-person therapy can be less flexible in terms of scheduling and may require significant time and effort for commuting. Additionally, for individuals with social anxiety or other mental health conditions that make it difficult to leave their homes, in-person therapy may not be the most accessible option.

  • Advantages:
    • Stronger Therapeutic Alliance: Face-to-face interaction can foster a deeper connection between therapist and client.
    • Enhanced Nonverbal Communication: Allows for a nuanced understanding of nonverbal cues.
    • Focused Attention: Dedicated therapeutic space minimizes distractions.
    • Tangible Support: Provides a physical presence that can offer comfort and reassurance.
  • Disadvantages:
    • Time Constraints: Requires physical presence and adherence to scheduled appointments.
    • Limited Accessibility: Geographical limitations may restrict access to qualified therapists.
    • Social Anxiety: May exacerbate anxiety symptoms for individuals who struggle with social interactions.

Ultimately, the choice between online and in-person therapy depends on individual needs and preferences. It’s also worth noting that many therapists offer hybrid models, combining both online and in-person sessions to provide a more tailored approach. Some also choose to do a hybrid of both online and in person to reap the benefits of both therapy options. You have options and can discuss whether counseling online, in-person or hybrid is best for you with a therapist! 

Factors such as comfort level with technology, the severity of mental health concerns, and personal circumstances should be carefully considered. A therapist can help you consider your needs and what may be the best fit for you! 

To learn more about finding the right fit for you, request an appointment here Appointment Request!

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Device overload: How to manage your digital devices and avoid burnout

In today’s digital world, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed by our devices. We’re constantly bombarded with notifications, messages, and emails from multiple devices. This can lead to a sense of device overload, which can lead to stress, anxiety, and burnout.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed by your devices, there are a few things you can do to manage them more effectively and avoid burnout.

  1. Set boundaries. Decide how much time you want to spend on each device each day, and stick to those limits. It’s also important to set boundaries around when you use your devices. For example, you may want to avoid using your phone in bed or at the dinner table.
  2. Take breaks. It’s important to take breaks from your devices throughout the day. Get up and move around, or do something else that you enjoy. Aim to take a break from screens every 20-30 minutes.
  3. Be mindful of your usage. Pay attention to how you’re using your devices. Are you using them for productivity, or are you just scrolling mindlessly? If you’re finding that you’re spending too much time on passive activities, try to limit those activities and focus on more active activities.
  4. Use your devices intentionally. Use your devices for the things that are most important to you. Don’t feel like you have to be available all the time. If you’re not feeling up to it, it’s okay to turn off your notifications or take a few days away from your devices.
  5. Delete apps and services that you don’t use. If you have apps or services that you don’t use, delete them. This will help to declutter your devices and make it easier to focus on the things that are most important to you.

Here are some additional tips for managing device overload:

  • Use a digital detox app. There are a number of apps available that can help you to manage your screen time and take breaks from your devices.
  • Charge your devices outside of your bedroom. This will help you to avoid checking your phone or computer first thing in the morning or last thing at night.
  • Create a screen-free space. Set aside certain areas in your home where phones and other devices are not allowed, such as the bedroom, the dinner table, and the bathroom.
  • Talk to your family and friends about your device usage. Let them know that you’re trying to reduce your screen time and ask for their support.

It’s important to remember that you’re not alone. Many people feel overwhelmed by their devices. By following these tips, you can manage your devices more effectively and avoid burnout.

How device overload can lead to burnout

Device overload can lead to burnout in a number of ways. First, it can lead to stress and anxiety. When we’re constantly bombarded with notifications, messages, and emails, it can be difficult to relax and unwind. This can lead to stress and anxiety, which can eventually lead to burnout.

Second, device overload can lead to a lack of sleep. When we’re using our devices late at night, it can interfere with our sleep. This can lead to fatigue, irritability, and difficulty concentrating. All of these things can contribute to burnout.

Third, device overload can lead to social isolation. When we’re spending all of our time on our devices, we’re not connecting with the people around us. This can lead to feelings of loneliness and isolation, which can also contribute to burnout.

Signs and symptoms of burnout

Burnout is a state of emotional, physical, and mental exhaustion caused by prolonged or excessive stress. It can manifest in a number of ways, including:

  • Fatigue
  • Irritability
  • Difficulty concentrating
  • Anxiety
  • Depression
  • Social isolation
  • Physical symptoms, such as headaches, stomachaches, and muscle tension

If you’re experiencing any of these symptoms, it’s important to talk to your doctor or a mental health professional. They can help you to identify the cause of your burnout and develop a plan to manage it.

How to avoid device overload burnout

To avoid device overload burnout, it’s important to follow the tips above and manage your devices effectively. It’s also important to take care of yourself physically and mentally. Make sure to get enough sleep, eat a healthy diet, and exercise regularly. You should also spend time doing things that you enjoy and that relax you.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed by your devices, don’t be afraid to ask for help. Talk to your family and friends, or seek professional help from a doctor or mental health professional.

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