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  3. How To Help Your Child Who Is A Victim Of Bullying
13

How to help your child who is a victim of bullying

Posted by Collaborative Counseling
How to help your child who is a victim of bullying

Bullying is a serious problem that can have a devastating impact on children’s lives. It can lead to low self-esteem, depression, anxiety, and even suicidal thoughts. If you think your child is being bullied, it’s important to take action immediately. Below you can find helpful tips on how to help your child who is a victim of bullying.

Here are some tips on how to help your child who is a victim of bullying:

  • Listen to your child. The most important thing you can do is listen to your child and let them know that you believe them and that you’re there for them. Don’t minimize their experience or tell them to “just ignore it.”
  • Reassure your child that it’s not their fault. Bullies often target their victims because of something that they perceive as different or unusual about them. This is not your child’s fault. Remind your child that they are worthy of respect and that they don’t deserve to be treated this way.
  • Help your child develop coping skills. There are a number of things your child can do to cope with bullying, such as walking away, standing up to the bully, or telling a trusted adult. Help your child develop a plan for how they will respond if they are bullied again.
  • Work with the school. If your child is being bullied at school, let the school administrator know immediately. The school has a responsibility to provide a safe and supportive learning environment for all students. The school may be able to take disciplinary action against the bully and/or develop a safety plan for your child.

Additional Tips:

  • Seek professional help if needed. If your child is struggling to cope with bullying, consider seeking professional help from a therapist or counselor. A therapist can help your child develop coping skills, build self-confidence, and deal with any emotional scars that the bullying has caused.
  • Encourage your child to stay strong and resilient. Bullying can be a very difficult experience, but it’s important for your child to know that they are not alone and that they can get through it. Remind them of their strengths and positive qualities, and help them to develop a positive self-image.
  • Help your child to build a strong support network. Encourage your child to spend time with supportive friends and family members. These people can provide your child with love, support, and encouragement.
  • Monitor your child’s behavior and mood. Bullying can have a significant impact on a child’s emotional and mental well-being. Pay attention to your child’s behavior and mood for any changes that may indicate that they are struggling. If you are concerned, talk to your child or seek professional help.

It’s important to remember that there is no one-size-fits-all approach to helping a child who is being bullied. The best approach will vary depending on the individual child and the specific situation. However, by following the tips above, you can provide your child with the support and guidance they need to cope with bullying and recover from its effects.

Additional resources

  • StopBullying.gov is a website from the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services that provides information and resources on bullying. https://www.stopbullying.gov/
  • PACER’s National Bullying Prevention Center is a non-profit organization that provides resources and support to victims of bullying. https://www.pacer.org/bullying/
  • The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is a 24-hour, toll-free, confidential suicide prevention hotline. If you are concerned that your child may be suicidal, call 1-800-273-TALK (8255).

Conclusion

Bullying is a serious problem, but it’s important to remember that there is help available. If your child is being bullied, take action immediately. Listen to your child, reassure them that it’s not their fault, and help them develop coping skills. Work with the school to address the situation, and seek professional help if needed. With your support, your child can overcome the effects of bullying and thrive.

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06

How to Give Feedback to a Family Member: A Delicate Balance

Posted by Collaborative Counseling

How to Give Feedback to a Family Member: A Delicate Balance

Giving feedback to a family member can be a tricky task. It’s a delicate balance between honesty and maintaining relationships. But with the right approach, it can lead to stronger bonds and personal growth. Here are some tips to help you navigate this sensitive situation:

Choose the Right Time and Place

  • Timing is everything: Avoid giving feedback when someone is stressed, tired, or hungry.
  • Privacy is key: Choose a private setting where you won’t be interrupted.

Focus on Behavior, Not Personality

  • Be specific: Instead of generalizing, provide concrete examples of the behavior that bothers you.
  • Use “I” statements: This helps to avoid blaming and defensiveness. For instance, say “I feel hurt when…” instead of “You always…”.

Express Your Feelings Clearly

  • Be honest: Share your genuine feelings without being accusatory.
  • Use “and” instead of “but”: This helps to soften the blow. For example, “I appreciate your help with the chores, and I would like to discuss how we can improve our communication about them.”

Listen Actively

  • Give them a chance to speak: Allow your family member to share their perspective.
  • Empathize: Try to understand their point of view.

Offer Solutions

  • Be constructive: Suggest ways to improve the situation.
  • Focus on the future: Avoid dwelling on past mistakes.

Maintain Open Communication

  • Encourage dialogue: Let your family member know you’re open to further discussion.
  • Be patient: Change takes time.

Remember: The goal of giving feedback is to improve the relationship, not to win an argument. Approach the conversation with empathy and a willingness to compromise.

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20

What to do when you are alone for the holidays

Posted by Collaborative Counseling
Spending the holidays alone

What to do when you are alone for the holidays

The holidays can be a difficult time for people who are alone. Whether you are by choice or by circumstance, spending the holidays without loved ones can be lonely. However, there are many things you can do to make the holidays enjoyable, even if you are alone.

Here are some tips:

  • Acknowledge your feelings. It is okay to feel sad, lonely, or even angry about being alone for the holidays. Don’t try to suppress your emotions or pretend that you’re not feeling anything. Allow yourself to grieve the loss of companionship and the holiday traditions you may be missing.
  • Reach out to others. Even if you can’t be with loved ones in person, you can still connect with them through phone calls, video chats, or social media. You can also reach out to friends or neighbors who may also be spending the holidays alone.
  • Create new traditions. If you are missing out on traditional holiday activities, create new ones that you enjoy. For example, you could cook your favorite meal, watch your favorite holiday movies, or go for a walk in nature.
  • Give back to your community. Volunteering is a great way to meet new people and make a difference in the world. There are many opportunities to volunteer during the holidays, such as serving meals at a soup kitchen or donating gifts to children in need.
  • Take care of yourself. It is important to take care of yourself both physically and emotionally during the holidays. Make sure to eat healthy, get enough sleep, and exercise regularly. You should also avoid alcohol and drugs, as they can worsen feelings of loneliness and depression.

Here are some specific activity ideas for spending the holidays alone:

  • Cooking and baking: Cooking and baking can be a fun and rewarding way to spend the holidays. You can try new recipes, experiment with different flavors, and create delicious dishes to enjoy yourself. You can also bake cookies or other treats to give to friends and neighbors.
  • Watching movies: Watching movies is a great way to relax and escape into another world. You can watch your favorite holiday movies or try something new. You can also watch movies that are set in other countries or cultures to learn more about different traditions.
  • Reading: Reading is another great way to relax and escape into another world. You can read fiction or non-fiction books, depending on your interests. You can also read holiday-themed books to get into the spirit of the season.
  • Taking walks: Taking walks is a great way to get exercise and enjoy the outdoors. You can walk around your neighborhood, visit a local park, or go for a hike in the woods. If you live in a cold climate, you can go for walks indoors at a shopping mall or fitness center.
  • Volunteering: Volunteering is a great way to give back to your community and meet new people. There are many opportunities to volunteer during the holidays, such as serving meals at a soup kitchen, donating gifts to children in need, or helping out at a local animal shelter.
  • Traveling: If you have the time and resources, traveling can be a great way to spend the holidays alone. You can visit a new city or country, or revisit a place that you love. Traveling can help you to experience new cultures and meet new people.
  • Spending time with pets: If you have pets, spending time with them can be a great way to reduce stress and feel less alone. Pets provide companionship and unconditional love. You can cuddle with your pet, play with them, or take them for a walk.
  • Self-care activities: Self-care activities are important for everyone, but they can be especially important for people who are alone for the holidays. Some self-care activities that you can do include taking a long bath, getting a massage, or reading a book in a cozy spot. You can also try new activities, such as yoga, meditation, or journaling.

It is important to remember that you are not alone

Many people spend the holidays alone, and there are many things you can do to make the holidays enjoyable. By following the tips above, you can create a holiday season that is both meaningful and memorable.

Additional tips for coping with loneliness:

  • Be kind to yourself. Don’t beat yourself up about being alone. Remember that it is okay to feel lonely and that you are not alone in feeling this way.
  • Reach out for support. Talk to friends, family, or a therapist about how you are feeling. There are also many online and in-person support groups for people who are alone for the holidays.
  • Do things that you enjoy. Make time for activities that make you happy, such as reading, listening to music, or spending time in nature.
  • Take care of your physical and mental health. Eat healthy, get enough sleep, and exercise regularly.
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06

How to combat stress during the holiday season

Posted by Collaborative Counseling
How to Create a Self Care Plan

The holiday season is a time for joy and celebration, but it can also be a time of stress. From shopping and decorating to cooking and entertaining, there’s a lot to do in a short period of time. And if you’re not careful, it can all get a little overwhelming.

If you’re feeling stressed about the holidays, don’t worry – you’re not alone. A recent study found that nearly half of Americans say they feel stressed during the holiday season. But there are things you can do to manage your stress and enjoy the holidays to the fullest.

Here are a few tips:

  • Set realistic expectations: It’s easy to get caught up in the holiday hype and set unrealistic expectations for yourself. But it’s important to remember that it’s okay to say no to social events, delegate tasks, and take things easy. Don’t try to do too much, or you’ll end up feeling overwhelmed and burnt out.
  • Take care of yourself: It’s important to take care of yourself, both physically and mentally, during the holiday season. Make sure you’re getting enough sleep, eating healthy foods, and exercising regularly. You should also take some time for yourself each day to relax and de-stress. Try reading a book, taking a bath, or listening to music.
  • Avoid overspending: Financial stress is one of the biggest sources of holiday stress. To avoid overspending, set a budget for yourself and stick to it. Don’t feel pressured to buy expensive gifts for everyone on your list. Instead, focus on giving gifts that are meaningful and thoughtful.
  • Delegate tasks: Don’t try to do everything yourself. Ask your family and friends for help with holiday tasks, such as shopping, decorating, and cooking. Delegating tasks will free up your time and energy so you can focus on enjoying the holidays.
  • Say no: It’s okay to say no to social events and holiday commitments, especially if you’re feeling overwhelmed. Don’t feel guilty about taking some time for yourself.
  • Take breaks: If you’re feeling stressed, take a break from the holiday festivities. Go for a walk, listen to music, or read a book. Taking some time for yourself will help you relax and recharge.
  • Seek professional help if needed.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed by holiday stress, talk to a therapist or counselor. They can teach you coping mechanisms and help you manage your stress.

Here are some additional tips for combating stress during the holiday season:

  • Practice mindfulness: Mindfulness is the practice of paying attention to the present moment without judgment. There are many different ways to practice mindfulness, such as meditation, yoga, and simply taking a few minutes each day to focus on your breath. Mindfulness can help you reduce stress and anxiety, and it can also help you appreciate the simple things in life.
  • Spend time with loved ones: Spending time with loved ones is a great way to reduce stress and boost your mood. Make time for the people who are important to you during the holiday season, even if it’s just for a quick phone call or coffee date.
  • Give back to others: Helping others can be a great way to reduce stress and feel good about yourself. Consider volunteering your time to a local charity or homeless shelter during the holiday season.
  • Take care of your physical health: Eating healthy foods, exercising regularly, and getting enough sleep are all important for managing stress. Make sure you’re taking care of your physical health during the holiday season, even if it’s just by making small changes, such as going for a walk after dinner or eating a piece of fruit instead of a candy bar.
  • Don’t be afraid to ask for help: If you’re feeling overwhelmed, don’t be afraid to ask for help from your family, friends, or a therapist. There’s no shame in admitting that you need help, and it can make a big difference in your stress levels.

The holiday season should be a time of joy and celebration, not stress. By following these tips, you can manage your stress and enjoy the holidays to the fullest.

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01

How to Successfully Co-parent with your Ex Partner and How it Benefits your Child

Posted by Collaborative Counseling
How to Successfully Co-parent with your Ex Partner and How it Benefits your Child

Co-parenting can be a challenge, but it is essential for the well-being of your children. When you co-parent effectively, you are setting your children up for success in all areas of their lives.

Here are some tips for successfully co-parenting with your ex partner:

  • Put your child first. This may seem obvious, but it is important to remember that your child’s needs come first, even when you are in the middle of a conflict with your ex. When you make decisions about your child, always ask yourself, “What is best for my child?”
  • Communicate effectively. Communication is essential for successful co-parenting. It is important to be able to communicate openly and honestly with your ex, even if you don’t always agree. Try to avoid using negative language or name-calling. Instead, focus on the needs of your child and how you can work together to meet them.
  • Be respectful. Even though you are no longer together, you should still treat each other with respect. This will set a good example for your children and make co-parenting easier.
  • Agree on a parenting plan. This plan should outline things like visitation schedules, child support, and decision-making procedures. Having a plan in place will help to avoid conflict and confusion.
  • Be consistent. Consistency is important for children, and it is even more important when they are co-parenting. This means having similar rules and expectations at both homes. It also means being consistent with your communication and your behavior.
  • Avoid speaking negatively about your ex. It is important to set a good example for your child by avoiding speaking negatively about your ex. This can be difficult, but it is important to remember that your child loves both of you, and they don’t need to hear you bad mouthing each other.
  • Celebrate your child’s successes together. When your child accomplishes something, be sure to celebrate their success together with your ex. This shows your child that you are both proud of them and that you are working together to support them.

Here are some of the benefits of successfully co-parenting:

  • Children have a better emotional and behavioral outcome. Children who co-parent with their parents have lower rates of depression, anxiety, and behavioral problems. They also have better relationships with their parents and their peers.
  • Children are happier and healthier. Studies have shown that children who have successfully co-parenting parents are happier and healthier than those who do not.
  • Children have better relationships with both parents. When parents are able to co-parent effectively, their children are more likely to have close relationships with both of them.
  • Children are more resilient. Children who are raised in a co-parenting environment are more likely to be resilient in the face of challenges.
  • Parents are less stressed. When parents are able to co-parent effectively, they are less stressed. This is because they do not have to worry about the other parent doing something that will harm their children.

Co-parenting is not always easy, but it is worth it for the sake of your children. By following these tips, you can set your children up for success in all areas of their lives.

Talking to a therapist, counselor, or mediator could help if you are struggling to co-parent with your ex. 

Here are some free online resources for co-parenting as well:

  • UptoParents (https://www.uptoparents.org) offers a free online co-parenting class with a certificate of completion. The class covers topics such as communication, conflict resolution, and setting boundaries.
  • TalkingParents (https://talkingparents.com) provides a variety of free resources for co-parents, including articles, videos, and toolkits.
  • The Gottman Institute (https://www.gottman.com) offers a free online guide to co-parenting. The guide covers topics such as staying connected with your child, setting boundaries, and resolving conflict.
  • The National Parent Information Network (https://npen.org) provides a list of free co-parenting resources, including websites, apps, and books.
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02

Mental Health Myths

Posted by Collaborative Counseling
How to Know When You Need Therapy or Counseling?

Mental health is just as important as physical health, but it is often stigmatized and misunderstood. There are many myths about mental health that can prevent people from seeking help when they need it. Here are some of the most common mental health myths:

Myth #1: Only weak people have mental health problems.

This is simply not true. Mental health problems can affect anyone, regardless of their strength or weakness. In fact, some of the strongest and most successful people in the world have spoken openly about their struggles with mental health.

Myth #2: Mental health problems are not real.

Mental health problems are very real and can have a significant impact on a person’s life. They are caused by a combination of biological, environmental, and psychological factors. Just like physical health problems, mental health problems can be treated with medication, therapy, or a combination of both.

Myth #3: You can just “snap out of it” if you try hard enough.

Mental health problems are not something that you can just “snap out of.” They require professional help and treatment. Trying to “tough it out” or “wishing it away” will not make the problem go away.

Myth #4: People with mental health problems are dangerous.

This is a dangerous myth that can lead to people with mental health problems being discriminated against and avoided. In reality, people with mental health problems are no more likely to be violent than anyone else. In fact, they are more likely to be the victims of violence.

Myth #5: Children don’t have mental health problems.

Children can and do experience mental health problems. In fact, one in five children will have a mental health problem by the time they reach adulthood. It is important to get help for children with mental health problems early on, as untreated problems can have a lasting impact on their development.

Myth #6: Mental health problems are a sign of weakness.

Having a mental health problem does not mean that you are weak. It means that you are struggling with something that is out of your control. There is no shame in seeking help for a mental health problem. In fact, it is a sign of strength to ask for help when you need it.

Myth #7: You can’t have both mental and physical health problems.

This is simply not true. In fact, many people with mental health problems also have physical health problems. The two are often interconnected. For example, stress can contribute to both physical and mental health problems.

Myth #8: Mental health problems are only treatable with medication.

While medication can be an effective treatment for some mental health problems, it is not the only treatment option. Therapy, lifestyle changes, and other complementary therapies can also be helpful.

Myth #9: Once you have a mental health problem, you will always have it.

This is not always the case. Many people with mental health problems recover and go on to live healthy and productive lives. With the right treatment, it is possible to manage your mental health and live a full and meaningful life.

Myth #10: Mental health problems are not a disability.

This is also not true. Mental health problems can qualify as a disability under the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA). This means that people with mental health problems are protected from discrimination in employment, education, and other areas.

These are just a few of the many myths about mental health. It is important to remember that mental health is just as important as physical health. If you are struggling with a mental health problem, please know that you are not alone and that there is help available. Talk to your doctor, a therapist, or a mental health professional. There is no shame in seeking help, and it could make a big difference in your life.

Here are some additional resources for mental health information and support:

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27

How to Maintain a Long-Lasting Relationship With Your Partner

Posted by Collaborative Counseling

Maintaining a long-lasting relationship is not always easy, but it is definitely possible with effort and commitment. Here are some tips to help you keep your relationship strong and healthy for years to come:

1. Communicate openly and honestly.

Communication is key to any successful relationship. Make sure you are always open and honest with your partner, even when it is difficult. This means sharing your thoughts, feelings, and needs, as well as listening to your partner’s thoughts, feelings, and needs. It is also important to be respectful of your partner’s opinions, even if you disagree with them.

2. Show your love and appreciation.

It is important to let your partner know how much you love and appreciate them on a regular basis. This can be done through words, actions, or gifts. Some examples of ways to show your love and appreciation include:

  • Saying “I love you”
  • Giving your partner a hug or kiss
  • Doing something nice for your partner, such as cooking dinner, running errands, or giving them a massage
  • Buying your partner a gift, such as flowers, jewelry, or a new book

3. Spend time together.

It is important to make time for your partner, even when you are busy. This means setting aside time for date nights, weekend getaways, or just spending time together at home. It is also important to be present when you are with your partner and to avoid distractions such as your phone or computer.

4. Be supportive.

Being supportive of your partner means being there for them when they need you. This means listening to them when they are going through a tough time, offering advice or help when they need it, and celebrating their successes.

5. Be willing to compromise.

No two people are exactly alike, so it is important to be willing to compromise in a relationship. This means being willing to give up something that you want in order to make your partner happy, and vice versa. It is also important to be willing to work through disagreements and find solutions that work for both of you.

6. Forgive each other.

Everyone makes mistakes, so it is important to be willing to forgive your partner when they do something to hurt you. Forgiveness does not mean forgetting what happened, but it does mean letting go of anger and resentment.

7. Continue to grow and learn.

As people, we are constantly growing and learning. This means that our relationships are also constantly evolving. It is important to be willing to grow and learn together as a couple. This can be done by talking about your hopes and dreams, taking classes together, or traveling to new places.

8. Seek help if needed.

If you are struggling in your relationship, do not be afraid to seek help. There are many resources available to help couples improve their relationships, such as counseling, therapy, or support groups.

Maintaining a long-lasting relationship takes effort and commitment. However, it is definitely possible with the right tools and strategies. By following the tips above, you can increase your chances of having a happy and fulfilling relationship for years to come.

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19

The Back-to-School Blues: How Parents Can Cope With Separation from Their Children

Posted by Collaborative Counseling
Therapist and client

The first day of school is a joyous occasion for many children, but it can be a bittersweet time for parents. After all, it means saying goodbye to their little ones for several hours each day. For some parents, the separation can be difficult to cope with. They may feel sad, lonely, or even anxious.

If you’re a parent who is struggling with separation anxiety, there are a few things you can do to cope. First, it’s important to remember that these feelings are normal. Everyone feels a little bit sad when their child goes back to school. The important thing is to not let these feelings overwhelm you.

Here are a few tips for coping with separation anxiety:

  1. Acknowledge your feelings. It’s okay to feel sad or anxious about your child’s return to school. These are normal emotions. Don’t try to bottle them up or pretend that you’re not feeling anything.
  2. Talk to your child about your feelings. Let your child know that you’re going to miss them, but that you’re also excited for them to start school. Talk about what they’re looking forward to about the new school year.
  3. Make a special goodbye routine. This could involve giving them a hug, reading them a story, or making them breakfast.
  4. Make a plan for staying connected. Set up a regular time each day or week to talk to your child on the phone or video chat. You can also send them texts, emails or letters.
  5. Reach out to other parents who are also feeling separation anxiety. Talking to someone who understands what you’re going through can be helpful.
  6. Get involved in your child’s school. Volunteering at your child’s school is a great way to stay connected and support their education. You can also attend parent-teacher conferences and school events.
  7. Take some time for yourself each day. This could involve reading, going for a walk or spending time with friends.

If you’re still struggling to cope with separation anxiety, it’s important to seek professional help. A therapist can help you understand your feelings and develop coping mechanisms.

Remember, you’re not alone in this. Many parents go through the same thing when their child starts school. With a little time and effort, you’ll be able to cope with separation anxiety and enjoy this new chapter in your child’s life.

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11

Remembering 9/11: The Courage, Strength, and Resilience of the Human Spirit

Posted by Collaborative Counseling

Twenty-two years ago today, the world changed forever. On September 11, 2001, terrorists hijacked four airplanes and carried out a series of coordinated attacks that killed nearly 3,000 people and injured thousands more.

The attacks were a horrific act of violence, but they also brought out the best in humanity. In the days and weeks that followed, people from all over the world came together to show their support for the victims and their families.

We saw acts of courage and compassion from firefighters, police officers, and ordinary citizens. We saw people donate blood, volunteer their time, and open their hearts to those in need.

The courage, strength, and resilience of the human spirit was on full display in the aftermath of 9/11. It is a reminder that even in the darkest of times, there is always hope.

Here are some specific examples of the courage, strength, and resilience of the people in the aftermath of 9/11:

  • Firefighters and police officers risked their lives to save others.
  • Ordinary citizens volunteered their time and money to help the victims and their families.
  • People from all over the world donated blood and other supplies.
  • Businesses and organizations offered free or discounted services to help those in need.
  • Children wrote letters of support to the victims and their families.
  • Survivors of the attacks found the strength to rebuild their lives.

The attacks of 9/11 were a terrible tragedy, but they also showed us the best of humanity. We saw people come together to help each other in a time of need. We saw the power of the human spirit to overcome adversity.

How Can We Celebrate the Courage, Strength, and Resilience of the People?

  1. Honor the past. Learn about the history of your community or country and the challenges that people have faced. This can help you to appreciate the courage and strength of those who came before you.
  2. Recognize the present. Be aware of the challenges that people are facing today, both locally and globally. This could include things like poverty, war, or natural disasters. Find ways to support those who are struggling.
  3. Celebrate the good. There are many stories of courage, strength, and resilience happening all around us. Take the time to read about or watch these stories to be inspired.
  4. Get involved. There are many ways to get involved in your community and make a difference. You could volunteer your time, donate to a cause, or start your own project.
  5. Be kind. One of the simplest ways to celebrate the courage, strength, and resilience of others is to be kind to them. This could mean something as small as holding the door open for someone or as big as donating blood or volunteering at a soup kitchen.

We can also celebrate the courage, strength, and resilience of the people by living our lives to the fullest. Let us never take our freedom for granted and let us always be willing to help others in need.

Conclusion

September 11, 2001 was a dark day in our history, but it also showed us the best of humanity. The courage, strength, and resilience of the people in the aftermath of the attacks is an inspiration to us all.

Let us never forget the victims and their families, and let us always strive to live our lives to the fullest. We can honor the memory of those who lost their lives on 9/11 by being courageous, strong, and resilient in the face of adversity.

Here are some resources for those who are struggling with grief or trauma:

  • National Center for PTSD: This website provides information and resources on post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), including coping strategies, treatment options, and support groups. https://www.ptsd.va.gov/.
  • American Psychological Association: This website provides information on grief and loss, trauma, and coping strategies, as well as a directory of psychologists who specialize in these areas.  https://www.apa.org/topics/grief/.
  • The Dougy Center: The Dougy Center is a national organization that provides grief support to children, teens, and their families. You can find their website here: https://www.dougy.org/.
  • The Compassionate Friends: This organization provides support to bereaved parents and families. https://www.compassionatefriends.org/.
  • The National Child Traumatic Stress Network: This website provides information and resources on childhood traumatic stress, including treatment options and support groups. https://www.nctsn.org/.
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05

Separation Anxiety and School

Posted by Collaborative Counseling
Mother and Child Walking Counting Their Blessings

What is Separation Anxiety?

Separation anxiety is a normal fear that children have about leaving their parents and/or caregivers. Typically, it peaks in toddlers around 14-18 months. It can continue into early childhood, especially in new or unfamiliar environments.

Tips to Ease Separation Anxiety at School

Starting school can be exciting and scary for kids at the same time. They’re ready to assert their independence and be a “big kid” while still valuing their parents attention and companionship. There are a few things you can do to help your child make the transition into being a student.

  • Spend time with your child at their school and/or classroom before their first day. If you can, spend time with your child’s teacher so that they are familiar with them and their new environment on the first day.
  • Have your child bring a comfort item, such as a blanket, stuffed animal or anything else that helps them feel safe. Over time, you can work on phasing the item out of their routine.
  • Keep your goodbye brief, dragging it out can make leaving worse.
  • Let your child know that you’re leaving and when you will be back and avoid “sneaking out”.
  • Keep a relaxed, happy look on your face. A worried or sad expression can signal to the child that the place you are leaving them is not safe and could cause them to become upset too.

Working on Separation Anxiety at Home

If your child is experiencing separation anxiety, there are some things you can do at home to help. Reading a book or telling a story about separation can be helpful for children to not feel alone in their fear. Work on building your child’s self-esteem with praise and positive attention. Although separation anxiety can be stressful, try to avoid being negative about your child’s issues with separation. This can create guilt and shame around the child’s feelings of fear.

Remember that this is a common experience for many children. With patience and encouragement, you can help your child work through their fears and become happy, confident school-goers.

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