Mental Health Help Archives | Collaborative Counseling

09 November

Waiting for Answers

Posted by Collaborative Counseling

How to Know When You Need Therapy or Counseling?

If you’re anything like many of us, you’re all too familiar “dot dot dot” you get while waiting for a response from someone. Often, we see them when we’re finalizing plans, or asking someone how their day went. Other times, we see them in response to a big question, like “Where is our relationship at?” or “Are you mad at me?” That visible pause- in three tiny dots- we see light up our phones puts all of our fears at the forefront of our mind. It can be the most gut wrenching two minutes of your life as you wait for their text to materialize.

What Makes You Pause?

Just think about your life for a minute. Do you feel like you’re on pause, waiting for answers? How many of us have stalled at the “dot dot dot”? We ask ourselves, or our spouses, even our friends, the hard questions like:

-Am I happy in my marriage?

-Am I doing the right thing by taking this new job?

-Should I have another baby?

-Is my son/daughter in need of more help than I can give them?

-Are issues in my prior relationships keeping me from moving on?

-Why can’t I find contentment in my life?

And we don’t have the answer, and neither do they. So we wait for a response, but nothing comes. And we sit, staring at that “dot dot dot” in life, wondering what we do next. How do you know if you’re choosing correctly? Who can you turn to when you don’t have the answers, and people around you can’t help you?

Seek Help

If you are tired of being on pause, waiting for an answer, consider talking to one of our therapists. We are here to listen and help. Our goal is to help you bring more joy, laughter and love into your life. We provide counseling that will help you live your life to the fullest by supporting you through difficult times as well as teaching you skills that will allow you to make changes and progress towards a healthier, happier, more fulfilling life.

Stop waiting for the answers, and let us help you find them. To learn more visit our website at: https://www.collaborativemn.com

communication, Communication Help, Counseling, growth, patience, relationships, Searching for Answers

03 November

Thoughts on How to Care for Yourself When in Grief

Posted by Collaborative Counseling

Living with bipolar disorder can be challenging

The five areas of ourselves that really need extra care now are (1) your physical self, (2) your emotional self, (3) your mental self, (4) your spiritual self, and (5) your social self. Below are somethings that will help in each of these areas.

Physical

Good food (junk food, caffeine, & alcohol will sabotage your healing).
Sleep/rest – your energy field and immune system are in shock.
Walking in nature is healing – head for a park, zoo, or conservatory.

Emotional

Forgiveness and total lack of blame for everyone.
Giving support & compassion to all others who are suffering now in this.

Mental

Get a clear & total understanding of what lead up to the tragedy.
Do not make any major decisions for a while.
Silence and calming music will help you heal.

Spiritual

Ask God/your Higher Power to allow you to feel his love & support.
Know that time always heals.

Social

Your family cares about you and wants your well-being.
Calm conversations with other family members will help you.
Your friends want to help; let them know ways in which they can-
Suggest making a meal, walking the dog, doing laundry- anything that seems to be a burden right now. This will help them.

If anyone causes you anxiety, remove yourself from them- some people are negative by nature and will be toxic for you & your recovery.

communication, Coping Skills, Counseling, Grief, Grief Support, Life Changes, Positivity, Self Care

27 October

Be Open to Outcome, Not Attached to It

Posted by Collaborative Counseling

Reflect for a Moment

Do you often find yourself wanting to be in control? Do you end up in a job or relationship for too long because you really want things to work out, even though it causes you unhappiness? Have you ever found yourself continually trying to make something work that just clearly isn’t working? If you answered yes or maybe to any of these questions, this article holds a critical lesson.

Be Open to Outcome, Not Attached to Outcome

This lesson is embedded in the practices of Buddhism. This tends to be a very difficult way of life for people of Western cultures. One of the biggest obstacles is our sense of security in believing things will work out the way we want them to. It seems as though this is a common illusion we often have. A Yiddish proverb tells us “We plan, god laughs.”

Being attached to outcome has many negative consequences as well. If you are attached to an outcome you won’t hear things that are inconsistent with the way you want things to be. In addition, you may end up with unnecessary unhappiness trying to make something work that no matter what you do just isn’t going to work.

Begin paying attention in your own life to whether you are being attached or open to outcome. Furthermore, observe yourself with open-minded curiosity. It is always good to hope for the best. However, it is never wise to expect the best. Remember: be open to outcome, not attached to outcome.

anxiety, control, Counseling, depression, emotionally flexible, happiness, let go, letting go, life experiences, mindfulness, open to outcome, simplicity, stress

26 July

How To Help Someone Struggling With Thoughts of Suicide

Posted by Collaborative Counseling

Ways to help when a loved one loses a pet and resources

According to the CDC, more than 38,000 Americans commit suicide each year. While we often think of suicide in relation to teens or the younger population, middle-aged males make up the majority of suicides in the U.S.

Suicide can be the result of any number of issues that someone is facing. However, an estimated 90% of people who committed suicide were suffering from substance abuse issues or a mental illness such as depression, bipolar disorder or PTSD. Suicide can be the tragic answer that some turn to when they feel they have no other options.

Warning Signs

Suicide can be difficult to prevent. However, if you are aware of the warning signs you may be able to help a person who is struggling. Some warning signs of suicide are:

Talking about wanting to die
Talking about feeling trapped or being a burden to others
Increased alcohol or drug use
Isolating from family and friends
Depression
Loss of interest or withdrawing from activities

Keep in mind this is not a complete list of the warning signs of suicide. Therefore, if you suspect that someone you care about may be contemplating suicide, read on to find out what you can do to help them.

What to do if you suspect someone may be suicidal

Be open to talking with them and listening to what they have to say.
Try not to discredit their feelings or minimize their problems. Focus on validating them for how they feel.
Let someone else know.
If the person doesn’t seem to be in immediate danger: encourage them to seek help from a mental health professional or doctor.
If the person seems to be in immediate danger: stay with them and contact a suicide prevention resource or accompany them to the emergency room or to mental health services.

Furthermore, if you or someone you know think they may be suffering from a mental illness, it is key to begin treatment as soon as possible. As a result, this can help to prevent the symptoms from worsening and lessen the likelihood of them resorting to suicide.

Resources For Suicide

Some additional resources that may be helpful for someone who is thinking about suicide or someone looking to help are:

Those who are suicidal often times will not reach out for help. Sometimes the simplest things like letting someone know that you are there for them can give them the hope they need to open up to someone and potentially save their life.

counseling in Eau Claire, counseling in Hudson, counseling in Lakeville, counseling in Maple Grove, depression, how to help someone struggling with suicidal thoughts, Lakeville therapy, maple grove therapy, suicide, suicide help, warning signs for suicide

18 July

Teens and Self Harm

Posted by Collaborative Counseling

How to help your child who is a victim of bullying

Being A Teen Today

Teenage years are a very volatile and unpredictable time in a person’s life. They are too old to be considered children but still too young and immature to be considered adults. Frankly many parents are not fundamentally aware of the inherent distinction between the two stages, nor do they realise that the progression from child to adulthood is gradual. At this stage of life their hormones begin to go haywire as they prepare to cruise into adulthood. Often things such as peer pressure, bullying, disagreements, abuse and just plain ignorance can derail this delicate progression for teens.

At this stage of life teens require lots of understanding and patience. Teen counseling is very important to ensure that the chosen path into adulthood is navigated effectively. So many things can derail their progress that it’s a constant battle to make sure your words don’t fall on deaf ears. When teens find themselves in untenable situations sometimes they resort to self harm.

What Does Self Harm Look Like?

Self harm may include taking legal and illegal drugs, cutting themselves or engaging in high risk activities. Self harm can be a coping mechanism for dealing with pain, disappointment, neglect or abuse. When a teen is self harming it is very seldom that they will share this information with parents or guardians. This is when you know the situation has become indefensible and has pushed that teen to this extreme. Teens usually cut themselves in places that will not be easily visible like the arm and upper thighs that can be covered by long sleeves and pants.

How To Help Your Teen

It is paramount these at-risk teens get counseling before their actions lead to a more serious situation like them seriously or permanently hurting themselves or others. Listening is the most important step when counseling teens. Most often teens will continue to self harm when they feel that parents are judgemental and hypocritical towards them or lay blame squarely on their shoulders for any and all situations.

Reassuring your teen that help is available and things can improve is important. Some teens engaging in self harm feel a sense of hopelessness about things getting better and you want to reassure them that things can get better. Teens need to know someone is listening and that they have an outlet to air their frustrations and disappointment. They also need to know that there is always a different side, a better side to every situation.

To learn more about our services for teens visit: https://www.collaborativemn.com/counseling-services/teen-counseling

communication, Coping Skills, dbt, depression, Drug Use, Emotional Regulation, High-Risk Behavior, How to help your teen, Self-Harm, Teen Depression, Teen Stress, teen struggles

06 July

Childhood Depression

Posted by Collaborative Counseling

Childhood depression is much more common that you may know. According to the U.S. Center for Mental Health Services, as many as one in every 33 children and one in eight adolescents may have clinical depression.

What is depression?

Clinical depression is sadness that extends beyond being sad about particular situations or events (e.g. being sad about a breakup or sad about the death of a loved one). In addition, Clinical depression involves a prolonged sense of feeling sad that gets in the way of doing things the person wants to do.

Signs of depression in children

Sadness and hopelessness for weeks at a time
Withdrawal from friends and/or activities they used to enjoy
Irritability or being easily agitated
Missing school or a significant decline in grades
Changes in eating
Changes in sleeping habits
Low confidence/self-esteem
Thoughts of death or suicide
Lack of energy and motivation
Difficulty making decisions
Forgetfulness
Difficulty concentrating

Help is available for a child or teen with depression

Collaborative Counseling provides specialized therapy services for children as young as age 3 up through adulthood. Our services are available in:

We provide play therapy for young and school age children. This has been shown to be effective in helping children overcome depression. To learn more about play therapy visit: http://collaborativemn.com/play-therapy/

Also, for older children and teens we provide a variety of different ways to help your child learn the skills they need. They can learn how to cope with their emotions, relationships and everyday challenges of our modern world. While counseling with children often involves a family component. Furthermore, family counseling can help parents and other family members learn how to support the person who is struggling with depression.

What should you do if your child is exhibiting depression symptoms?

First of all, if you suspect your child is struggling with depression, get them help immediately. Therefore, we recommend bringing your child in to talk with a counselor or psychologist to clarify the symptoms as soon as possible. The counselor or psychologist will be able to provide you recommendations for treatment to help your child through their depression as well as any other areas of concern.

Finally, if you are not quite ready to see a counselor or therapist, we recommend sharing your concerns with your child’s pediatrician or primary care physician. Most general practice clinics can also help assess whether your child may be suffering from depression or another emotional health issue.

#childhooddepression, #collaborativecounseling, #therapyforchildren

30 June

What fills you up?

Posted by Collaborative Counseling

In life there are so many things that zap our energy. As a result, we become so busy just trying to get things done that we end up forgetting to fill up the engine. Here I am speaking of doing things that give you energy, instead of take it away. What fills you up?

Often, we forget to take time to take care of ourselves when there is so much to be done to take care of everyone and everything else. Today I am challenging you to think about what you can do to fill yourself up with energy.

Mental Energy Enhancers

Reading a book or listening to a book on tape
Spending time with friends and family who are positive
Managing your money well
Keeping your home, office and care neat and clean
Face old conflict and find ways to resolve them
Be aware not to become overscheduled; leave some breathing room and do not overbook yourself

Physical Energy Enhancers

Nutritious diet
Doing things at your own pace rather than how someone else dictates them
Relaxation activities (such as yoga, meditation, massage)
A warm bath
Lay in the sun for 10-15 minutes
Hugs

Spiritual Energy Enhancers

Say only what you believe to be the truth (speak your truth without blame or judgment)
Do each thing with love
Practice being grateful
Focus on what you have instead of what you do not
Spend time in nature
Listen to and follow your inner guidance
Say no to things that go against your beliefs

As a result, there are many ways for you to refuel your energy levels to help support you in living a vibrant life. If you want help learning to figure out ‘what fills you up?’, consider seeking council.

counseling in Eau Claire, counseling in Lakeville, counseling in Maple Grove

20 June

What Is Validation?

Posted by Collaborative Counseling

Validation is when you listen to what another person is saying to you and reflect it back to them that you understand how they are feeling. An important thing to remember is validating is NOT necessarily agreeing with the other person. It also doesn’t mean you like what the other person is saying, doing or believing. You are simply restating back to the person what you hear them saying.

Why should we validate others?

There are many benefits to validating people, including it:

Shows you are listening
Lets people know that you care
Proves you understand the other person’s point of view
Is nonjudgmental
Improves communication and openness
Decreases conflict
Establishes trust

How do I validate others?

Validation involves listening to what the person is saying, stating back what you hear them saying to you and then responding to the person’s needs at that time.

For example, when talking to someone nod and make small gestures to show you are listening (e.g. say mmhmm, I see, huh). Then restate what you hear the person saying (e.g. “That really hurt your feelings”, “You didn’t like that”, “That pisses you off!” or “You’re angry!”). Respond by asking what the person needs, they may want space or a hug or to just vent a bit more while you listen.

Be mindful and avoid judging what the other person is saying. Show tolerance for the other person by working to recognize that their reaction makes sense considering his/her life situation, experiences and history even if you do not necessarily agree with that person.

What does it mean to be invalidating?

We invalidate people’s feelings when we minimize or disregard their experience. Some common examples: “Oh, you’ll get over it”, “You don’t need those friends anyway”, “It’s not that big a deal” or “You should…”.

What are the negative impacts of being invalidating?

There are many negative outcomes from not validating others’, including it:

Shows you aren’t listening
Says you don’t care or believe the other person
Shows you don’t understand the person
Is judgmental
Decreases openness and communication
Increases conflict
Decreases trust

The next time you are talking to your child, friend, lover, spouse or co-worker consider trying to just listen, reflect back what you hear and ask what the person needs in the moment. You may find it helps the person and also improves your relationship!!

Validation is a strong component of DBT, to learn more visit: https://www.collaborativemn.com/counseling-services/dialectical-behavior-therapy-DBT

Caring, Communication Help, Empathy, Friendship, How to be a good friend, how to be a good parent, how to show you care, Kindness, Listening, parenting, Positivity, Validation

31 March

Stress and Relaxation

Posted by Collaborative Counseling

Stress and Relaxation is a balancing act for sure. Because everyone gets overwhelmed and stressed sometimes. A lot of people struggle to manage stress in life. It is important to have balance in your life, so here are some ideas to consider trying to help reduce your stress by taking the time to relax.

Here are 10 easy ways to practice relaxation:

Read a book or magazine. Reading can help take us out of our present worries and into a new frame of mind.
Any type of exercise can help to burn of stress – run, walk, take a yoga class or lift weights.
Take a moment to just focus on your breath. Try to breathe in counting your inhale and breathe out counting the exhale. Try to exhale for twice as long as you breathe in. For example, breathe in, two three; breathe out, two, three, four, five, six.
Hang out with a friend.
Have a cup of tea or go out for your favorite coffee drink. Then enjoy drinking it while being in the moment.
Do whatever you may be doing one-mindfully. One mindfully is when you focus all of your attention on whatever it is you are doing, if your mind wanders, you notice the thought and then go back to whatever you were focusing on. You can do this while doing homework, while cleaning, while doing the dishes or while moving your body.
Do a craft or hobby that you enjoy. Whatever you enjoy – take time to do what you love most!
Take a nap. You may be amazed what taking a 15-20 minutes snooze can do to your mood.
Take a bath or hot shower. Try doing it one mindfully (see #6).
Change your mindset. Focus on thinking about all of the good things in your life. If you feel grouchy, take time to make a list of all the good in your life.

mindfulness, reduce stress, Self Care, take time for yourself, time to relax

09 March

What unique gift or talent do you bring to the world?

Posted by Collaborative Counseling

Deep within us all exist unique gifts or talents needed by the world around us. Often we can get stuck in patterns of negativity, unhealthy relationships, a bad job or other things that take away from our talents. Sometimes we may not even know we have lost sight of our talents or maybe they have never been discovered…

Often we have found that when people take time to reflect upon their values and beliefs they are more likely to discover some unique talents about themselves. Here are some questions that could help you begin to explore your values and beliefs:

Have you asked yourself?

What are you energized by?
Do you know your personal strengths? (One good tool to help you uncover your strengths is StrengthsFinder 2.0)
What is the most important to you in life? What are the top 10 things? How about the top 5? Or the number one most important thing?
Are there things that that you enjoy doing at your current job? What don’t you enjoy?
If you could do anything with your life, what would you do? What would be fulfilling about that?
Is anything else missing from your life?

While, you may find yourself wondering “what are my talents?” or “I don’t have anything unique to offer the world”, these exist within all of us. Your talent may be your ability to observe beauty around you or it may be your ability to be a good listener to others. Any talent or skill has a way to make the world a better place. Therefore, I encourage you to challenge those thoughts and seek ways to begin uncovering your uniqueness.

In addition, sometimes a person’s values and beliefs are strongly tied to their unique gifts and talents. If you are still struggling to uncover your unique talent, seek a professional counselor or coach to help you to reveal your inner beauty.

As a result, in uncovering your unique talents, you can become able to make choices that will allow you to share your full potential while, making the world a brighter place.

Counseling, counseling in Eau Claire, counseling in Maple Grove, Hudson therapy, Lakeville therapy, Professional Counselor, Strengths, Strengths Finder, Therapy, unique gifts